I’ve been so distracted by media and the trappings of the modern world today that I looked up at the clock and almost was sick by the time. It seemed to come very close today that I might not have posted and that just wouldn’t do, ladies and gents, not when we’re on the second year of this. It would be an enormous letdown to have the day where I miss a post not be a day where I’ve been skydiving or falling in love with some tall, dark, and handsome cliche or becoming poet laureate. It would be pretty lame to have it just be me not being on the ball.
So, I’ve settled the noises and the lights and I’ve opened the laptop and the little window into your world emerges, a bit greased and smog-rimmed, but there, nonetheless. You and I are bound together by this quicksilver tether so thin as to seem invisible and when we take a breath and let all of the chaos that is a human life dissipate into the dusky, rainswept remains of a day, we connect. For a brief time, while we concentrate and relax our muscles, warm our extremities, let sensation win over analysis, we are in one room and we are saying all that there is to say.
The sister is working an overnight shift, so the usual light is off, the usual feeling of not being alone with yourself is off, my shoulders are well and truly greeting my earlobes until I recognize the hunching and force them back down. I did not exercise or eat particularly well today, thinking it was going to be another day of spelunking the bowels of the retail earth about here and we didn’t end up doing that. So meals happened awkwardly and not with intention and time frittered away from me. I played games and stared in the middle distances and took a long, luxurious bath without a book because I didn’t even want the bother of having to hold it open. I was ridiculously, extravagantly, and wholly a creature of whim.
Which is nice work if you can get it.
But they don’t employ you there for long before you’re back out on the streets. I didn’t exercise today and that’s pretty frustrating since I genuinely like it. Genuinely, not just saying that because it makes me sound like a better person than I actually am. But it’s 10:52 now and I don’t see the sense in racing around on the bike. I did try and get a walking game at the game store, but apparently it’s about 2 years too old to be available at a store, so I’ll probably order it right now and it’ll make me feel far less guilty.
If I seem to be talking in a somewhat verbose manner, it’s just the language rubbing off from watching Downton Abbey with my friends upon whom I am now afflicting all my British television passions and they are afflicting right back.
Love is admiring the passion in another while possibly being unmoved by the source of their passion. When that source takes hold of you, too, well, then…how can you ever be parted?