I can’t tell you everything, we’re already well past everything.
I can only say that I baked out of affection that can’t be transmitted, words that cannot be said,
He remembered something I said and shared an idea, a rhetorical gambit, an Oh, yes, you’d once spoken positively of this. And I said, oh, thank you, yes, I’ve been thinking about that for months, perhaps, I will make it. And so we find ourselves baking Japanese cheesecake at ten pm because we cannot say the words. The words might not be the same if we said them both at once.
But there’s rivers that flow both ways, towards a horizon and away from it and back to the sea. I don’t know which is the one I’m meant to slip my boat in, so I’m standing here, oven clicked on, doing sturdy, serviceable, domestic activity To say I am bound up in the ideas of kindness and care.
These are not the ideas, but they are bridges to cross so we can at least go somewhere if we can’t find our way to the water.