Floating By

Tis my birthday.  Yay.  I am old, older, but not yet oldest.

Not yay: spent way too much money just trying to live today.

Applied for a job that is close, am not desperate to have, but at least broke the pattern: yay.

Had to spend way too long at the old one: not yay.

Was a bit vulnerable again with The Guy, who I think I have to start calling by his initial, J, because so much of this is about breaking through these layers and barriers and shields, the vagueness of a person.  He has a name.  He is real, if real far away.  Yay.

Had a panic attack (minor-ish) in the car.  Not yay.  Had my fitbit heart monitor on so I could see how fast it was racing.  Not yay, and did, in the short term, make it worse.  But informative so…yay?

Made my therapist appointment for a week from Friday.  Very, very YAY.

Going to try and do some actual writing tonight.  Yay again.


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