Jitter (The Linen Lifter)

The first week is now done.  Sunday to Sunday.

You didn’t hear from me yesterday.  That’s okay.  I was busy, at least insofar as I find things to be distracting and computers unavailable.   No pictures either.  When I loved the pictures, it was great.  When I had zero interest and was tired and the pictures, toward the end, finally after 6 years had eaten up all my wordpress space and I was going to have to buy more for the stock images of pencils and sunrises, less so.

I suppose the thing from this week that I’d want recorded for posterity is that I spoke to the guy today.  He asked and I thought for half of a half-second about pushing it out.  I’d planned to do it…well, eventually.  Soon.  Sometime. If I had to.

But he asked if we could talk about the game stuff I was trying to figure out so he could keep working on whatever he was working on and I said yes.  And then, right then, he called and then I answered.  And then we talked and I pretended I was at work for a while until he told me I had a good voice and I had already immediately, but viciously repressed, liked his voice.  I said I was shy.  Like he needed to know I was shy and this could be awkward and he said I could always just hang up if I needed to, entirely seriously, and I laughed, already calmer, that I would never just hang up.  And so we talked and it was the way you would talk if you were into someone.  The both of us.  And I talked about how I so disliked my speaking voice – the electrocuted squirrel it sounds like to me – and he had this scientific explanation at hand about the three different voices, the vibration of bones and how if you put pressure on your ears, you’d hear better how you sound to others.  And then we talked about the best stats for rogues and then the internet died, and there was calling back and texting and talking about shyness.   We talked about dinner, and there was the awkward, half-giggly talk to you later.

He did not, at any point, seem to be despairing at the laborious task of talking to me.  I did not, at any point, make some completely ridiculous statement out of nerves.  I could be reading the whole thing wrong, I could be being manipulated, I could, I could, I could.  But…

And so…that was a thing.

Maybe it shouldn’t be this way, but mostly everything else pales.

I loved the show I went to.  Ate well until I ate poorly, getting back on the horse for a while.  Not stressing about that when I have 900 other things to stress about.

I will see you for a longer post in a week.  This, in its way, is really helping me.