Ain’t No Man


Alright, mes freres et mes soeurs, I am here.  Exhausted, but not so very near a stupor as I was last night, so I can report as I could not then my good news.

I had a positive phone interview.  I can say this with some assurance as it was just a few hours later when I got a call back for an in-person interview on Monday.  This is good because I could see myself enjoying and being comfortable in this job.  I could see it benefiting my life enormously and if I can just keep my mindset there and nowhere else, then, well, I think I can manage this transition.

As part of the interview on Monday, I do have to provide a written component and I am thinking I will work on that tonight if at all possible as I am already worn down and the agenda’s full as heck for tomorrow.  Heckin’ fuck, it’s full.  We are seeing the half-sister and my niece and nephew to watch the ballgame and be chill in the deep woods or wherever it is that she lives these days, and somehow writing up one of these pre-interview assignments, getting my hair and face whipped into shape without an appointment and psychologically preparing myself for this interview all on this one day off.

In the midst of all of this new job excitement, I not only have to extract myself from the nonprofit, but from the very dear, and quite for-profit little shop.  And I don’t imagine that the new admin work would provide me with such a moment as I experienced today.  A woman, of proper and expected woman shape, came in with a group of artisans who were convening in town.  She tried things on while on the phone with her husband, and yet kept coming out of the dressing room empty-handed.  Finally, she sighed and talked about not finding anything and she knows she’s gained weight but she loved our store and wanted to take something home with her from it.  She was not upset, per se, but like she would go home discouraged and sad.  I stood there for a second, but found my way to asking her what she was looking for and thought of how she was sort of my shape and the jacket I’d been given and how I found it flattering and basically suggested she try that.

She did try it and she did love it and she was so happy.  She said I made her day and really, it did make mine, that she was leaving there happy and think well of us and in a piece that did actually look good on her.

I will miss those sorts of things.

So much so, I’ve been an idiot and committed to working Saturdays through the end of the year.  I want to do it…but I won’t want to do it.

Still, who knows.  All this excitement and some person off the street will say thing A when I say thing B and that will be the difference.  I’ll be right back in my shoebox to start sorting this shit out again.

Okay, more to do.  More – my words are in the assignment.



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