A Supper of Orange


The kitten.

She is still a dear, sweet, kind little ball of energy after yesterday’s worrisome sleepiness.  You forget, having not had a jar of lightning scooting around your floor, what it’s like or what it’s not like to have a kitten.  And yesterday was chilly so the girl just needed some rest for all that growing she’s doing so we don’t have to have conniptions about it all.

The neck/head stage of the business after much time of fearing one thing, a new crop of terrors has arrived to gorge on.  

Teeth, jaw, that whole issue…gone.  The hypochondria reigns supreme, however. I have felt a touch better with my neck – bought some IcyHot to work on that.  Not perfect.  Odd head pains every now and then, like someone’s running a fingernail along my scalp.  Less so than yesterday, less, but not completely subsided.  Constantly focusing on it, I’m aware of it.  If I get busy at work, completely forget the issue. Not sure what that means, willing to survive 30 days and get myself enrolled regardless of what’s going on with my employment status to get things checked out, because I just…ugh.  Stress is causing this, but I can’t trust what I feel because I invent new horrors everyday.

I did find myself weepy in the car over an elementary school friend’s wedding while I find myself trying to get paid and have money for toilet paper and worrying about whether or not the hysterical blindness I saw dramatized on TV could be catching.  Like, fuck, the unfairness of the mental lots that we were assigned at birth.  I was allowed to be smart, but not given the wherewithal to trust it and without trust in it, doomed to drive myself nuts with the possibilities of my pain.


Breakfast at Tiffany’s

I did wake up on time and did arrive for my meeting which was, as I rather expected, less of a quasi-interview and more of a hey, let’s be reacquainted and tell me one tiny slice of your life struggle in an easily digestible format over chocolate croissants.  And then I will do the same plus add on some actually helpful job-search tips.

I think my mentor was a bit hopeful that one of these two contacts would just be swimming in job openings and could just throw one my way.  Instead, it’s like, oh, there’s a process.   But both are completely amenable to helping me once I do some heavy lifting and get myself ready.  I am okay with that.  It is an atrophied muscle, this networking and socializing muscle that needs me to build it up.

One good thing

This is Saturday, there’s more sleeping coming my way.  That will save me or at least won’t hurt me.

Some French words: fromage bibliotheque l’oiseau, un livre, une bague

Actuellement, c’est plus facile ecrire en Francais, qu’écrire un mot.   Un mot est beaucoup de difficile.  Mais, j’ai besoin savoir qu…

Je voudrais un diable menthe et un croque monsieur.

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