Love: Well, as I have alluded to, there’s just another nobody that I’ve been chatting with and amusing myself with. It is not anything more than that. Life requires far greater dimensions than just amusement, however, amusing that amusement appears. I do realize that I have zero sway or control and nothing constitutes anything. Just want that stated for the record. It’s just a bit of silliness and fun which I need in light of everything else.
Work: The two jobs are balanced in their own way. I feel pulled down by one sometimes and then the other. They are precisely as they’re labeled. The retail job sometimes feels menial and that perhaps I’m being condescended to for simple things. Stress for me sort of has the same osmotic principles as water temperature, eventually it all evens out to about the same level. I’m now worrying about entering in my purchases correctly so I don’t screw up inventory. There’s no place to go where it’s easy, so, I suppose there’s some relief in that.
Weight: A thousand reminders flicker at me. I am starting to settle in now. Change is the only thing that happens so tomorrow, a bike ride and some water. I can do it.
Writing: I knew I had to be more present here. It’s just an outline. Press on, please. Press on and finish it. These distractions cannot be abated by giving into them.
Gratitude: I am grateful for my sister. I am grateful for a mother and aunt who call and invite me over for tacos and to tell me the things I need to know. They are consistent buoys. My father and other sister, too. Family, yo. I am grateful for today’s help, for funny CPR instructors, for glowering skies that never turn into tornadoes, for 95 words already written.
The shit this girl is into lately: Peaky Blinders, Babymetal, Fallen London, Mumford (how odd that my sister is the one insisting we get tickets – I always think that after standing out in the blazing sun for years and years that she’ll tire of them, but it’s impossible after you see their show. They’re just lovely and still are), exceedingly well-written RP that forces me to try and write RP exceedingly well, Masterchef because it’s one of the few reality tv shows that I can stand.