writing 500 words
+ more Rilke, a photo of Rilke, half-panther, clawing and pawing at the past like a fool, hunger, feasting, Oprah, mysticism faith and belief.
wanting more than nothing, wanting, wanting, oh my lord, just wanting
There’s this odd spark. This bravery. This source that got tapped.
Things I love: sleeping with multiple books in my bed. Fresh nail polish, paying bills, being able to use my businesslady voice, pushing through the writing until I can make two loose segments connect, being able to stop myself to the point where I don’t even want to cause myself trouble, reading something painful and wrestling with it rather than letting it sit on you like a wet blanket, speaking my mind about my frustrations, doing a bit of maintenance. Willing myself to start even though I didn’t know where I was going. Carrying things through to total catastrophe. Planning on bigger, more challenging, more overwhelming, socks-knocked off change and starting now.