I am not sure how long this will take. If yesterday was the exhilaration of realizing I can do more than nothing when it comes to exercise, today was about realizing “oh, you mean, today, too?” Having the day off – one more day of having an excess of freedom with my time, means that I have the ability to do more than might otherwise be necessary.
Did it, though. Wasn’t leaping out of my skin with the same joy, but I did it, because I want the habit more so than anything else. There was a little bit of soreness in my legs, nothing felt the same capacity to leap and herk and jerk as yesterday, but it was possible to do the exercise with vigor and not with rage or fear. Do the situps, do the tracking, do the tromping around to Missy Elliott and hope that it’s adding up, not worrying about calculating it all today. Nothing needs to be decided or changed after 3 days of real effort or 18 days of cleaning out bullshit ideologies. We have plenty of time for reassessment. Now are the days of derring-do.
Reading Big Magic, avoiding the fumes of whatever lacquering or shellacking or staining they are doing downstairs unannounced, watching more of the Tribe, working ever so slowly on the novel, but sometimes breaking through a wall and the tortoise transforms into the hare. Also, thinking about a secondary story, secondary worlds, secondary hopes and dreams. Living creatively by chewing all the gum I can get my jaws around.
Accepting the new week. I cannot push it away with my feet. I cannot draw it nearer with a curled index finger. It is just as it is. Ah-hah!
All this and +200 story words, too, I can’t even believe it! Look at the girl go!