Strange how even making tiny life changes does sort of give you a bit of a hangover. I didn’t drink at New Year’s this Year and today I feel like I blacked out – possibly for the past 10 days. A head and neckache to beat the band. Strawberry red in the face for no apparent reason. Precious.
Melodramatic? Yes. True…eh, possibly?
Today has been a mentally manic sort of day. Reliving the halcyon days of watching Radio Free Roscoe live, thinking about how much I love Loreena McKennitt, continuing to play an excessive amount of Sims 3, needing to play Dragon Age and allowing lovely shippy, spoilery YouTube videos to suffice, put my can on the seat for 10 minutes on the bike that I am going to have to work hard to not allow to keep me up all night (last night, I must report, went really poorly as a result and I gotta be doing this earlier – I thought it was cool, but it wasn’t, omg, it wasn’t), laid down on the floor and did 10 situps despite reading some new report that suggests they are destroying your body, logging my embarrassing food choices on MyFitnessPal, getting a delightful shitton of information and recipes for my new food processor including stir-fried grated sweet potatoes, working hard and enjoying working hard on good ol’ Bookerie McBooken, finally turning the phone back on and hearing from the boss and not learning that the sky has fallen. Maybe it has, but we don’t have to do that whole stressing so hard we practically bite our tongue off when we sleep thing anymore. At least not tonight. We have two more sleeps till Reality Bites and instead of hunkering down, I’m enjoying who I am right now, outside of all of that.
Things are happening, but it’s not all the things. It doesn’t have to be ALL THE THINGS. I can’t be. I feel the desire to do more than I am doing which is such a nicer feeling than constantly being let down by not being able to all or nothing my life. You are not a letdown when you’re imperfect, you’re dead-on human and you’re worth recognizing for turning up.
People laugh at that, but it’s one of those laughs where you respond because it touches truth.
+139 random story words from editing and futzing on the novel.