Autumn in December

pexels-photoIt’s a question and answer sort of post, but I have no questions to ask of you or myself that haven’t already been asked and no answers that match any of those questions so I suppose I can offer you lots of ands.

And I am doing alright for a Saturday night that is actually, I think, Tuesday.  I am not entirely sure.  Is it Tuesday or is Wednesday because it can’t be Monday anymore.  And I am aware that I should be, at bare minimum, aware of what day it is.  And it’s just fine and dandy that I don’t.  I’ll scrape together a bit of sense in the morning.  For now, we have words and trying harder.  And yesterday’s post, now that I recall, was about trying harder.  Trying harder when all you want to do is Alt-Tab the hell out of whatever situation you’re in.  Not great on days when the computer runs hot and slow.  Sometimes the image hangs and you are forced, however briefly it may happen, to acknowledge the things that bring you discomfort.

How I am spending this week is not one of those things.  Not yet.

I am on vacation.  The first in a long number of very stressful months and I am, I imagine, going to return to an equal amount of insane pressure.  I am thinking of an old hot iron that can smooth out the wrinkles, but can’t be left to set face down on anything but for a moment, or it will burn it.  My wrinkles will be smoothed, the whole of me burnt until you wouldn’t so much mind a wrinkle or two anymore.

It feels like I am failing on day two of thinking about not failing.  But I’m not.  Okay.  It’s late and I am trying to do better for myself, but today that better comes in the form of thinking my cute little quirks of language are cute and endearing and not, what they really are: wrong and obnoxious.  We are not out in the cold and the heater works and we have clean water to drink and nobody starves even if we are often too lazy to go hunt and gather our food.  When you beyond the face of it, we cannot call this life anything other than charmed. And I made up this bed, fresh sheets, blankets no longer akimbo.  Ah, mes amies! I made the bed!

So, yes, I’m cleaning and playing video games and watching sand in the hourglass fall.  I think I should put the hourglass on the end of a lathe and spin it so that time just reaches outward in all directions and we’re none of us being passed by.

Speaking of First World Problems (thank you, Mr. Good), the stock photography site I use was giving me grief so I found another, but all the pictures seem on the nose.  I haven’t used pictures of people, but these seem especially posed, especially generated to make you think you know what all of this is about.  I like to avoid that clarity.  Oh, well.  Rub your hands through your sandy hair and shake out all those grains of days gone by.

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