So no story words today because other things are happening like the trailer for the new Dragon Age DLC Trespasser and my head is pulsing and pounding and I think I might die if only I didn’t have a lot of evidence to the contrary. I shouldn’t say things like that especially after I heard news that an acquaintance who was always incredibly kind to me and to everyone from the old job passed away very unexpectedly today. It is just a headache that comes from not eating, even though I did get myself upright so I could go out and get food, I ended up not eating it because it didn’t sound good. I think my sister had a migraine this morning, so I don’t know where all of this is coming from, I just know that between this headache and the evil waning of this sunburn which has turned random portions of my flesh into beef jerky and the rest of it into a flaky nightmare, I ain’t at my best today.
So here’s a quick update on the state of me because I know we’ve had several days here where I haven’t been running my mouth off because I have actually been getting proper writing done. That’s exciting – that’s a good thing. I just know that tonight, in thirty minutes, I’d be writing something essentially that would just need to get deleted. So right, strike all that.
I am amused by a few clever people online and their clever rapport with one another and in very minute ways that don’t really count as emotional connection, a rapport with me, a deeply anonymous fangirl of no import. The Faithful Light has got my head screwed on straight, as best she can, and we’ve both agreed that we can go down the happy route about this without also trying to walk down the OH SECRETLY THEN THEY WILL SOMEHOW LOVE ME. They won’t love me. But it’s nice to be clever and not have to give a shit on if it’s the cute kind of clever.
My parents are back from their road trip to Minnesota. Given how many times over the years I’ve made that voyage with them (and still in my mind, it wasn’t enough), I am glad that they still seem to be talking to one another. As far as I can tell since I’ve been on basic radio silence all day, but the text I got seems cheerful enough. Maybe tomorrow we’ll sort out getting my father his birthday meal and somehow get some proper protein in me and not some left over beef jerky (actual, pre-packaged beef jerky and not, you know, my own flesh.) Because that surely has enabled my whole Madame Loopeedou persona today. Get some coffee earlier than 6pm.
There are other, much more serious things to talk about…purpose and dealing with my shit and preparing for the fact that I still don’t have an answer to THE QUESTION which means the answer is yes. Or no. But tonight….I burn, you fade away.