Duddle

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I have finally disappointed the cat to the point where she has decided to leap off the bed and go bother someone else.  Suddenly, after a hot day (albeit broken a few times with some nice cooling rain), the cat needs to cuddle.  Enough squeezing, patting and head thrumping and she has finally decided that whatever in her fevered cat brain is needed is not going to be procured through me.  At least not for the time being, so she is off to bother my sister or come to her kitty senses that it is too damn hot with this laptop in my lap to allow her current level of intensity.

I hear the meows echoing down the hallway.  Accusatory meows, but I don’t care.

The idea was to get even more done today.  To do, perhaps, the cleaning routine on the kitchen, the few minutes of gaming followed by a few minutes of cleaning.  To satisfy the idea that I could get a bit closer to getting this house perfect – not what I mean, not the way I used to mean it – just to get it nice and liveable and not so distracting.  Not so obviously messy.  My room has been maintained, I am at least glad to report.

I wasn’t, also, going to need to report any of this because I was going to write all all of my five hundred words on the story and I wouldn’t need to show up as myself.  I was going to be ready to start on another part and I realize I just want to linger and poke and play paper dolls with the characters in the scene I just finished and got some level of beta feedback on and at the same time I am fried.

The frying is because the parents, on my mother’s largely uncelebrated birthday, turned up ready to put the TV on the wall mount and hang it on the wall, to replace the toilet seat, to move my massive bed about, to bring unexpected birdcages, and to eat subway and drink beer.  After that, I realized I needed to make brownies, because I bought them, and the kitchen really needed more crap in it.

Sigh.  Okay.  Essentially, we have not been entirely on point today and that is okay.  I got some laundry done, I have started looking at flights and the room for Las Vegas.  Thinking about how nice it would be to split that cost with someone, to have that be a boyfriend/girlfriend trip with someone.  Thinking every last little thing about it, I suppose.  I have not gone on to OKC since my therapy session, I have stayed away not because I’ve decided not to use it anymore, but because I haven’t made any sort of real decision as to this whole dating thing so…because I understand the reasoning…that being there without the intent to be following through is damaging. It’s unfair and it’s not productive.

So, there’s more, other, also, but we’re done.

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