Subsume: Day Two Hundred Fifty-Three



Ever still, there is the worst feeling which ebbs and flows at my temples and will go away when it goes away, not one moment sooner.  Do you ever wish…never mind, strike that from the record, nobody ever wishes.  Never ever.

In other news, I have bought a ticket to go tour the Vatican.  Which, I suppose means they’ll have to let me in unless one of those puffed and reckless Vatican guards sees fit to pike me off the property.  I hope to not give any cause, but I would like to see those fellows in action.  They seem like such human anachronisms, sort of like how we go to the Renaissance Faire, only they do it every day because it’s their job and they have to be threatening (insofar as anyone’s going to be making trouble at the Vatican of all places) and I…

I’m mainly afraid that I’m going to have to fight a terrible urge to yell FUCK! everywhere I go to avoid getting thumped by a man who is dressed like he is one tower of the Kremlin.  (And now, having looked up to verify what the uniform looks like, I realize they’re the Swiss Guard which I think I knew at one point and they’re not so very Wizard of Oz-ish or candy cane-esque as my imagination held, but they’re still a bit silly as far as military forces seem to go, garb-wise.  Not that I’m saying anything worthy of piking.  Don’t hurt me.)

I also have a plan for Florence, day 1 – to get there, checked in at the Hotel, get a shuttle to the City Center, then take this pair of tours which I think will keep me in contact with English-speaking folk, which isn’t necessary, really, but I think since I’ll be on my own, more or less, has a sort of comforting element I can’t deny.

Ugh, ugh, time is running out.   I have spent the night after our post-work event legitimately finishing my resume.  Tomorrow night I should be able to put together the cover letter and email it off to her as requested before next Monday’s interview.  I wanted to let my boss know before she went on vacation, but now, I don’t think I have time to meet with the potential new new boss at her office anytime before she leaves and I can’t jump the gun.  It would be awful.  Even though right now, going to events with people who I have come to know and in some cases really cherish and not saying…I know this is a broken record if you’ve been following me for the past week or more, but it’s been emotionally turbulent.  Writing the resume did sort of help re-affirm that I would probably hire me.   And that I can do this job that I’ve been offered.   I gotta focus on that and not the unassailable awful that questions me.

I didn’t play Sims 4 tonight …though maybe I will for an hour just to run some sandpaper over these sharp edges.

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