Adulterated: Day Three

Your girl is a happy girl so long as she stops with the over-thinking.  I’m working myself up into a state.  I think I needed to have eaten more today, but I’ll take care of that tomorrow.  If not, by grabbing a low-carb tortilla once I get done here.

Yes, I feel very adult today.  I called the credit union and got pre-approved for the loan for an amount I feel comfortable making payments on even if all of a sudden I think there’s kind of a small, found out I had excellent credit (I hate to think of the bots reading today’s post and glowing/vibrating/emoting in whatever way a bot could emote over the keywords  here) and am now making plans to buy both a car and a computer tomorrow because I’ve budgeted for it and now I’m looking at everything and thinking that maybe I need to get snow tires for my car, just in case, and some sort of training and maybe all of this won’t be enough to stop me panicking on the road, and also, I should get an IRA and JFC, I need to calm down on a Friday night.

Being an adult. The thing does get overwhelming.  Especially if you’re anxiety-prone and completely ridiculous like yours truly.

I just want to get everything right and appear virtuous in all of this and that’s…probably not possible.  I feel like maybe people would think that I think I’m grossly indulging myself by making these purchases right now.  Not that right now is different than any other time, but I do feel like a kid in a candy store and that while I need the car right now, I mean the computer isn’t dying. I could go without and save this money, pretend I never even got it.   Not having it would not destroy my world.

But when I think more about it, if I accidentally unplug it, the computer will shut down.  It gets pretty hot.  There’s cracks on both sides, some of the letters are completely worn away, it can handle the games I want to play on it, and it’s going on six years old.  Also, i spend the majority of my home life working and playing with it.  I feel like I can justify spending $700+ dollars on a new one.  I could also get a cheaper one.  There are plenty of laptops at half the price.  But to me, I think I’d rather pay the extra price to have one that can last me another five or six years, play most of the new games that come out that I want to play,   It’ll also give me more mobility – easier to pick up and go.

It’s just a lot of money in my mind and now that I’ve updated YNAB, even though I’ve budgeted for it (and am planning to save $1000 on the down payment from what I’ve projected), I see the other options for that money and the allure of a high balance and lots of savings is real, too.

I think mainly I want someone to swoop in and say, it’s okay, it’s okay to travel and have a new computer and a car.  What a fucking first world delirium to live in.

If you needed a new computer, I wouldn’t hesitate to be excited for you and ask you what you’d be getting.  I would assume that you’d thought about it and decided it was a good idea for you.

Goal: Less than that





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.