So, I kind of think I’m gearing up for a good start to 2013.
How do I know this? I did a load of laundry tonight and I put it all away.
I have a new business purse. Tote bag. It’s not a briefcase. It is, however, more professional than my Mumford and Sons bag that I don’t want to hold by the cloth handles for fear they’ll rip.
I didn’t die today. I should have, at multiple junctures, but I didn’t. I was, instead, treated much more kindly than I deserve both by friends, co-workers, and strangers. I attempted to be kind in return, though I don’t know if I’ve quite covered it. I am still, you know, panicky and stressed, and it may well grow back up exponentially, but the sick little mass that seems to grow (metaphorically, hyperbolically) every single day, seems to be back to a manageable size at the moment.
I am drinking water right now. There was Atkins talk (unspecific and I agreed to nothing because I need, nay, demand this to be on my terms) and my mother is making me omelets-cupcakes for breakfasts. I had some impulse to get on the bike which was cut-off at the knees by doing the laundry.
I also ordered with the etsy gift card my sister got me some printable planning stuff I’m going to put together tomorrow once I can print it and which I’ll share with her since…who knows, maybe it’ll be helpful for us both. It has all sorts of different areas to track and it cost about as much as my planner did last year so we’ll see if I can bring it to work or maybe just keep it at home and make better use of my time. Since so often I get home at 5:30 and turn around like I’m doing right now and observe the clock and it’s 11:16pm and I wonder how I can ever be expected to do anything. Well, a lot of that time was falling to a create channel haze of cooking show delirium. Seriously, I was watching America’s Test Kitchen bloopers last night. And listening to their podcast and I want to cook the chicken cordon bleu recipe they were making tonight. It makes me feel sort of grounded and domestic and proto-wifely. A feeling which will pass, but what the hell.
I have some clothes picked out for tomorrow. I’ve got a gift card to pay for my lunch at the coffee shop so I can save a little money there. I will, in future, be doing my level best to save a little bit to help with these expenses. I know my sister’s doing absolutely all she can with handling her two differently obnoxious jobs, but I hope that somehow she can find something that pays a little better and doesn’t involve so much rigamarole. Hell, I hope that for myself.
I feel rather determined. Sometimes it’s awesome to know that you have things to do and you get to do them.