Phantom Testicle Dreamstate

My cat, Peanut, is in a perpetual one.  But that’s not today’s story, mes amis.

I need to write this little note to you, but I am afraid I must tell you that I am quite exhausted.  Twelve hour days will do that to you, I think.  But, I am much better brain-wise than yesterday.  Today, I was kind of okay despite the studs in the road (the sharp kind, not the Chippendales/wood in your walls kind) that the world continues

What I missed in this crazy day was the passing of Mr. Jobs which surely, almost inevitably, you’ve found about before this.   It ties in with the everything of today.

It felt very much like I was meant to understand something.

So let’s start at the beginning.  Or try to.  I got up and to my early breakfast session-thing on time. It was a bit of a trial.  The mornings are dark now, as the late afternoons are turning, and I find a very strong portion of myself unavailable until well after I wake up and have had my coffee.  As it turns out, this morning, I didn’t have coffee for quite some time so I just wore a smile and it didn’t feel entirely manufactured.  I drove in and saw this amazing sunrise and it almost felt like joy has a muscle memory, too, and the ease of which I fell into a state of wonder calmed me down.  All those radiant clouds burnt gold around the edges and hanging in a painted sky.  The death of the night, the birth of the day, and me driving my banged up, duct taped ice blue car right through the middle of it.  With Mumford and Sons sanding off the rough edges in my heart.  Hard to mind a little breakfast and awkward presentations after that.  Then I rushed about a bit, as we deal with our fire damage, and then I went on my own to a government facility.  Hah.  No, I really did.  We toured an unnamed location for anonymity reasons, but we were looking at the pretty amazing way this building was built and I was overwhelmed by the nearness of this epicenter of intelligence and capacity to create and engineer what is planned.   It felt like I was walking around in the future.  Like I leapt into a future that was racing towards humans living on the moon, where suffering was so much less, further away, rocks in your shoes.  Then, a bit more work that wasn’t really work, but then another work event, and then, another event where a local politician made this really appropriate speech about the issues and needs of our community, our assets and liabilities, and the need for innovation and I was moved.  I was moved by his intelligence and facility to express this to our stumpy, oatmeal-filled heads.    I kind of felt like an adult for a bit today, and that was called for and needed.

Food was random and then skewed bad.  Full report of all my foodstuffs tomorrow.  Just know there was no soda!