I finished Weight today and I loved it. I really did. It’s a short book, but it’s dense and a bit strange in the sense of being beguiling and compelling if you give it a chance to unfold itself. I loved what I got out of it (which I think is actually a multiplicity of themes that I need to unpack) but critically, it was about the concept of burden and assumption of burden as an aspect of personality without ever questioning why it is so important, why it is ours to take on. What our personal mythos is and must be. What is unchanging and how even the most enormous, seemingly permanent and fixed attributes of our existence do change and we manage it with love and lies and mythology and the stories we tell to make truth and unmake it. 150 pages and it’s a whopper. Jeanette Winterson, you inspire and amaze me.
So I’m trying to keep up the momentum and dovetail it with another book that I’m not living that much but hoping it can convince me – The School of Essential Ingredients, a book suggested by my mother and aunt which I feel is sort of strikingly self-indulgent and fifty pages in, I don’t know why I should so admire this cooking savant and her magical restaurant/cooking school or the timid woman who is learning from her. I don’t feel for anyone yet . I will try and I hope finish it fast so that I can dig into something as worthwhile as Weight and a book that I think will help my writing more than sort of maudlin middle-aged women trying to resolve their purpose after motherhood via cooking. But this implies an investment and care that I don’t quite think I have in the book yet. It could impress me. It could turn it all around.
I’m listening to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival and adoring it, wildly. It just is very relaxing while I type and read. Naturally, I’m listening for Mumford and Sons tomorrow and for any surprise appearances they might turn up for, but I’m enjoying all of it. I’d like to go there someday, especially on a weekend so beautiful as this.
What else? I am back on the clock. I didn’t weigh myself this morning and I’m rather bleary at that hour of the day to begin with before I set off for the Farmers Market. But I had my shake, had my lunch, have my dinner planned and I am going to get up some gumption to get on the bike or so something to move my body about and get cracking on this second cycle of weight loss. So I’ll consider tomorrow Day 1 and we’re leaving for Minnesota July 2nd. So however many days that is will be this next go-round and I’m feeling pretty okay about it. I know that the other option is going backwards, which is no option at all.