Even Now, This Is Our Age of Innocence: Day 17


So, yeah, I am smaller.  I am less hungry.  I am good on the diet front.  Not losing weight in any measured fashion.  I am exercising and happy so.  This is all excellent.


I’m rather at a loss for any story today to entice or delight you.  There was my sudden awareness that we weren’t going to have a piece of machinery in time for our market opening and I sleekly and with no ruffled feathers got a replacement one from another company while we work on exchanging the old machine for its proper one in time for the market after that.  I didn’t upset myself, I took action, and I am so relieved that there’s still time for one to be shipped.  Oh, lord, that would have been a great ball of fiery bullshit if it was otherwise.

It still could be, of course.  Can’t trust these people unnecessarily.  But I hope for it to work out. I intend for it to.


Act 2 (but really, Act 5 since I am beat)

So, in the ever-continuing effort to fight through this plateau, I decided to dance with the Black Widow.  Which is not remotely related to Jillian Michaels, at least I don’t think so since I don’t know anything about her outside of a dozen Biggest Loser episodes I’ve seen, but she’s kind of hardcore. She’ll kind of take you out.  So I’ve had this 6 weeks to a six pack dvd from her for like a month and I’ve stared at it and I’ve contemplated it but she has this reputation, obviously, and I’ve been at my usual early diet stage of “Let’s just see what a little movement and food can do.”  And, I think I can get rid of water weight, I think that’s just about all it can do for me, personally.   These days of 160 over and over again despite not eating carbs and not, you know, fucking around…are fine but I have goals here.  And while I’m not all that overly enthused about the precise terminology of a six-pack, or of abs that are so clearly defined as part of what I’m working towards, to get there, I’d have to bypass what I am working towards which is just, really…abs.

So, I feel good about how miserable I feel.  No, not really miserable, just worked the fuck out, you know?  My arms, especially, which was good, needed.  So I will try and keep doing it.  I didn’t really get everything the first time or even the second and it’s 9:00pm and I was dragging to begin with.  But hey, it’s something.  Salty dinner again.  With green beans, but I can’t predict the scale at all.

Everything is ratcheting up in my life and I am hanging on.  I’m reading Jeannette Winterson’s Weight.  Another gift from Mr. Rochester that I hadn’t gotten around to and 20+ pages in, it’s beautiful and different and I’m curious to read more.   Not a complete illiterate, your anthologist, not yet.

Today: 160
Yesterday: 160
Goal: 155 by June 15