I’m at work on a Saturday and despite the fact that I am here, typing to you (at you), I am actually working. This may result in a pretty scattered post for today, but it’s another packed schedule – you know, for me – I’m not a head of state or anything. There’s a lot that I both need doing and want to do and I feel like I sort of just got through yesterday by the skin of my teeth and I’d like to do what I can to get on track.
I haven’t been off-track, I’m pretty delighted with myself for working my ass off last night despite having the ability to foist it off onto today. There was something about promising myself, along with Mr. Tight White Shirt, that I didn’t want to disappoint. I didn’t want to have to catch up with the exercise, really. And also, this is pretty much the crucial difference between this diet experience and those I have had in the past: there’s the effort to do the whole kit and caboodle. I’ve been wanting to write a full post on why I’m not doing low carb even though I know that right now I would have lost a lot more weight – actual pounds – at this point if I was doing low carb again. I don’t know if this is that post to break down the thought behind that decision right now, but I do know that when I was doing low carb I never felt this powerful impetus to work out and build muscle and physically feel tighter and stronger and “fitter.” It was just about a fast way to drop numbers on the scale. I wanted to be able to say that I have lost weight and that I could wear smaller clothes.
Now, I don’t feel such an incessant, pulsing rage at the scale every morning for it not being some ridiculous number. Low-carb can be thrilling in that way when you wake up and suddenly you’re two or three pounds lighter than the day before. If you can believe your scale and at the moment, I do. It went down the slightest bit this morning, but it’s not anything that would impress anyone. It’s just now, I know I’m doing more than I’ve ever done and I’m working towards doing as much as I possibly can. If I’m looking towards being at my goal in September, and I’m exercising and cutting the calories down, I know I can get there. And if I feel better all the way along, I don’t have a lot of reason to question that. I don’t feel like if I did have a doughnut (and I’m not going to, but a hypothetical doughnut), I will have sinned against God and destroyed the diet and why even try? It’s a groove, a path, whatever metaphor you want to use and you can get it in or out of it and your life will continue, but
I’m getting more done now in my life.